Twitter Killed The Global Economy! News at 11

My colleague from the old days (the 80’s, you whippersnappers) Loring Wirbel posted a chart on his blog this week that is such a perfect indictment of the evil of Twitter that I have to alert my loyal readers (all 12 of you, and that doesn’t include mom) to this incontrovertible fact: the growth of Twitter is directly correlated with the recent crash of the global economy.

All you Twits tweeting about which nostril you’re now cleaning out have effectively brought the world to a standstill. It’s time to get back to work, put down your Tweetberries, and stop making the world safe for socialism. While you’re at it, please stop linking Twitter to Facebook, you’re cluttering up my preferred waste of time with more clutter than I can process, and therefore wasting more time that should be better spent doing something useful.

Rant over. Next week’s headline tease: Blogging Killed the Global Economy! News at 11

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