Apparently Marc Benioff scored both a PR coup and some nice/nice points by appearing at Oracle Open World on Tuesday and failing to completely trash talk his competitor. The event seemed to go so well (Benioff was described by one observer as “magnanimous“, not exactly an adjective usually associated with “shoot from the lip” Marc) that I think it’s time to start booking follow-on speaking gigs for competitors at some upcoming industry events. Here’s my list:
Oracle Open World 2010 Surprise Keynote: SAP’s Hasso Plattner. Herr Dr. Plattner will sail his yacht right into the Moscone Center and deliver a magnanimous attack on the relational database market by discussing his pet project, in-memory databases. Plattner will be joined on stage by Michael Dell, who will look surprised at all the attention Hasso is getting.
SAP Sapphire 2010 Surprise Keynote: Oracle’s Charles Philips. Sir Charles will sail Larry’s yacht into the Orlando Convention Center and deliver a magnanimous attack on SAP’s ERP software, calling it unfit for acquisition by Oracle. Charles will be joined on stage by Michael Dell, who will be wearing an Oracle racing jacket and a smug grin.
Microsoft Dynamics 2010 Surprise Keynote: Bill Gates. The unflappable Bill will parachute into the Orlando Convention Center from 30,000 feet and deliver a magnanimous attack on his company’s lack of focus on the enterprise software market. Bill will be joined on stage by Michael Dell, who will be wearing a “I Hate Vista” jacket and a tired, wan look.
Finally, Dreamforce 2010 Surprise Keynote: Hasso, Charles, and Bill will do a rendition of the Three Tenors before they magnanimously kick off their hostile takeover of Salesforce.com. They will then sail Benioff to his island retreat in Hawaii (one part Benioff on Hasso’s yacht, one part on Larry’s yacht) and vow never to talk at each other’s conferences again. Ever. Or at least until the next time.
And Michael Dell will be nowhere to be seen, to the relief of all.